Hello Beautiful Angel Humans,
So, we are two girls starting a big adventure in our new home. We have some fun thoughts and exciting ideas (sometimes) so we thought we would write them down. Everything from our NECESSARY amounts of indoor plants, to composting, to our occasional adventures and attempts at designing our home as well as ways in which we have learnt to love the craziness that goes on in all of our minds. We wanted a way to watch the baby steps that made our house a home and write down all the crazy things that pop in to our minds on a day to day basis. Enjoy x
It's okay to say no...
At the start of 2019 I set myself a few goals and areas of improvement. On the top of my list was "learn to say no to things that I don't want to do" along side "don't feel so guilty for saying no". Seems like an easy, achievable goal, right? Who would've thought that saying such a simple, two letter word could be so difficult?
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Now.. I can't say that I have achieved this goal, BUT I do think I have made some improvements and by the end of the year I might (emphasis on the might) feel a little less guilty about saying no.
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Let me give you some background so you can fully understand the extent to which I can't say no... A few christmas' ago I had about $150 to spend on all my family and friends presents, and what do I go and do? buy a $90 face moisturiser off of a sales man in the middle of the shopping center of course! Why? Simply because he seemed like a nice person and I couldn't. say. no. This is just one example of the MANY times I haven't thought about the consequences of saying yes, but I don't want to blubber on for too long :')
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I thought I would quickly share with you some things I have learnt about saying no and why we struggle to say it...
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- Saying no can create conflict and who likes conflict? We don't like when others are angry at us or judge us, so we avoid conflict the only way we know how, agreeing to do things we don't really want to do (even though most of the time it's all in our heads and most people can understand and accept "no" as an answer). Your energy is important, protect it.
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- Saying "yes" just comes more naturally. When you have a fear of saying no, the only logical thing to do is to say yes to everything, right? This then becomes an easy thing to do and it's a never ending cycle of over committing yourself to things.
- You don't want to disappoint others. This one kind of goes hand in hand with the first point. The first thing I think when someone asks something of me, whether it be my work asking me to stay back later or a friend/family member asking to hang out after a long day of work, is that they will be disappointed. A quote I read the other day gave me some good insight into this: "When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself". You may not be disappointing others, but you could be disappointing yourself.
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SO... in saying all of this word vomit, I hope you can join me in challenging yourselves to say no without feeling guilty, mean or selfish. If staying in on a Friday night to put a face mask on and watch Netflix sounds more inviting than going out with friends, then DO IT!
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And remember.. learning to say no may be one of the hardest things to do, but it's also one of the most liberating.
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Liberate yoself, protect yo energy. ​
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T x
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NEVER GROWing UP
I am sorry in advance if this whole post makes zero to no sense at all but I am just going to let that freak flag fly in my self-created no judgement zone.
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I think of this topic often. Sometimes when I am running (which isn't often) I like to imagine I am a little girl again with not a care in the world, running in a field pretending I am on saddle club because why the fu## not. It's better then the alternative, thinking like a sane adult.
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I had that moment again today. I was watching my kitten attack my arm and saw some boxes laying around. So instead of being in a huff about the mess and annoyed at my very cute but extremely devilish kitten, i decided to build her a castle. It has her favorite toys hanging from the high ceiling, is covered in rainbows and it is now her fav spot to hang out. Not only did I love every second of making it, I tried to be optimistic about the mess I had to clean up after.
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I think we get so caught up in the cleaning, the adulting, or the time it takes away from the controller of all lives (social media) we forget that doing these things is GOOD FOR OUR MINDS!
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Pick up the paint brush, build your kitten a castle, go pretend you are a part of the gang on saddle club, play with matchbox cars, go on the swing. Use this as a tool to surviving as an adult, then after doing one of these fricken awesome activities, go have a long ass cry in the shower.
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Let loose, get a lil' freaky.
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You're welcome,
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J x
What's the worst that could happen...
Ah yes, the age old topic on the infamous 'anxiety'. If anyone has mastered managing this lil' baby yet, let me know what magic you have been using/ drugs you have been taking.
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There are soo many things I want to discuss on this topic, which I can as we go on, but to stick to routine i'm just going to word vomit and hope for the best. In spite of most days feeling a little overwhelmed and often crazy I have actually learnt to love a lot of the aspects of my anxious tenancies. From the sometimes social awkwardness, to not wanting to leave the bed, or reading a tad too many self help books- I have enjoyed the wild journey of working out my little (big) brain. We all look at it as such a negative thing, when really, it's just that our brains are too active *smart* for their own good. Our minds are still wanting to live in the monkey ages and be outside in the sun, running through the trees and being Nomads. Not stuck in 4 walls 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. However, unfortunately as humans- we must adapt.
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I have made a few decisions this year that all generally come back to not doing anything anymore that makes me unhappy. Whether that be in work, relationships or anything in between- try to do and surround yourself with things that make you feel GOOD (or as good as possible). I know people say it all the time but life really is what you make of it. Granted, some days are still going to be shit house, and you are going to feel terrible for no reason. DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF, have a bath, breathe through it, cry through it and ride dat anxiety wave until it crashes (beacuse it always does) you're a fricken ocean! How amazing is that?
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My new little mantra this week: "What's the worst that could happen?" Listen to those crazy ass stories Mr. Anxiety tries to tell you and make them 10 x more crazy. And/ or BUY A PLANT, for some reason spending my money on those beautiful green pots of love makes me feel instantly better- so ima keep doing it.
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I know this is short, sweet & random but I felt like touching on the topic because that's what this is all about.
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Don't be hard on yourself, do things that make YOU happy and slowly build the life YOU love. Become an astronaut, a hairdresser, a stripper, a hippie (who tf cares). Be an anxious mess, but make sure you do something you love while
you're at it !
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Message me if your sad, I will send you a plant and a happy little life loving message.
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J x
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